FRIDAY, JULY 24
Friday the 13th This is the very first film in the series and Jason can't even do his own work. He has to get his mom to do all the slashing. It took him years to live that down at the annual Horror Villains Summer Retreat. (1980) Spike TV. 9pm.

Drop Dead Diva In this new show, an aspiring model wakes up in the body of a plus-size attorney. It's a double whammy; she can lose the weight, but she'll never get her soul back. Lifetime. 9pm.

Numb3rs When a Hollywood tour bus is hijacked, the team must learn what the hijackers' demands are and whether that really is Gary Coleman's house at stop 4. CBS. 10pm.

SATURDAY, JULY 25
Real World Cancun: After the Show We just wanted to point out that this is Real World XXII. The cast from the first season might have kids old enough to be on the show now. But of course those kids are probably being raised in isolation camps so they can never find the embarrassing footage of their parents slurping Jell-O shots off the chests of recovering alcoholic strippers. MTV. 7:30pm.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift In this one, the racers explore the Japanese street-racing scene. It's a lot like American street racing except the tires squeal out of sequence with the film. (2006) TNT. 8pm.

Malibu Shark Attack An earthquake releases a giant prehistoric shark in the waters off the elite beach community. But it distracts the residents from their real estate losses. (2009) SyFy. 9pm.

SUNDAY, JULY 26
The Storm A scientist develops a weapons system for the Pentagon that controls the weather but then the system goes awry and wreaks meteorological havoc on a global scale. Luckily, the arms industry is ready with a $200,000 super umbrella. (2009) NBC. 9pm.

Hammertime So now MC Hammer has a reality show. Sadly for him, the reality is that it's never going to be 1992 again, ever. A&E. 10pm.

MONDAY, JULY 27
Bachelorette This is the finale in which Jillian chooses one of the two final contestants to be her partner for life. The reject has the choice of getting his own show, going into therapy or a T-shirt that says "I wasn't that into her anyway." ABC. 8pm.

How I Met Your Mother Barney is invited to a party with Victoria's Secret models. He obviously doesn't have a chance with any of them. But there's no line at the hors d'oeuvre table! CBS. 8pm.

Dancing Tweens Three preteen couples compete in ballroom dancing. The winning girl gets a cash prize and the adoration of her classmates. The winning boy gets a tour of the inside of his locker when he gets back to school. The Learning Channel. 8pm.

A Flea Market Documentary A look at people who prowl flea markets and how many times that breadmaker you got as a wedding present will change hands before it goes to the landfill. KQED. 9pm.

TUESDAY, JULY 28
More to Love So this is like The Bachelor but all the women are plus-size. This guy's T-shirt says "But she has a great personality." Fox. 9pm.

Nova Science Now Scientists talk about the possibilities and research opportunities in a permanent base on the moon. They could put it next to the Starbucks that's already there. KQED. 9pm.

The Colony Another reality show, this time with 10 people challenged to survive in a post-apocalyptic scenario. To do this, they need to find food, water, shelter and, at the very least, basic cable. Discovery Channel. 10pm.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 29
Wipeout This time, couples take on the obstacles together. You'll be able to tell which ones have kids. They'll be able to do it carrying groceries and holding cell phones to their ears. ABC. 8pm.

When Andrew Came Home Five years after being abducted, a young boy is reunited with his mother. We sense one of those "My abductor always let me stay up and watch South Park" confrontations coming on. (2000) Lifetime. 9pm.

CSI: NY Investigators are puzzled when a buzzard drops a human eyeball, wondering how it made it past the pigeons. CBS. 10pm.

THURSDAY, JULY 30
Pawn Stars Go inside day-to-day operations at a Las Vegas pawn shop where the clients hock their treasured possessions for cash. But they get a free ride back to the casino! I History Channel. 10pm.==

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Kris gets a monkey, helping set the record for least reality in a reality show. E! 10pm.

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