FRIDAY, JUNE 12
Fake or Real? Can you tell the difference between natural beauty and plastic surgery? Here's a hint: If you can bounce a quarter off her breasts, they may not be real. E! 8pm.

Everybody Hates Chris This has been canceled, effectively changing the title to Everybody Hated Chris. CW. 9pm.

Cocaine Nation Shows like this completely ignore the drug's important contributions to American culture, including disco, Miami Vice and almost everything that happened in the '80s. Discovery Channel. 9pm.

SATURDAY, JUNE 13
The Haunted Mansion Yet another movie based on a Disneyland ride. Stay tuned for Mr. Toad: Born to Ride Wild and Bear Country Jamboree: Bear'n' Witness. (2003) ABC. 8pm.

Legally Blonde Biathlon Both films, shown back to back, provide a rare look at what it means to be a young woman in the 21st century if you are unbelievably attractive in an unrealistic situation. VH1. 8pm.

Kill Bill 1 & 2 Exactly like the Legally Blonde series but the curling iron can be used as a weapon. Spike. 8 and 10pm.

SUNDAY, JUNE 14
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three The remake is hitting the theaters this summer but the original sill packs a punch. New York subways in the '70s were scary even without the hijackers. (1974) CW. 8pm.

10.5 A swarm of earthquakes centers on the West Coast, threatening to dump California into the ocean, one of several strategies under consideration in the governor's office. (2004) NBC. 9pm.

Whacked Out Sports We can remember when "the agony of defeat" wasn't played for laughs. ABC. 9:30pm.

Jesse James Is a Dead Man Tonight, Jesse enters a figure 8 race, risking a full-throttle collision every time he approaches the crossroads, sort of like morning drop-off at Mill Valley Middle School. Spike TV. 10pm.

MONDAY, JUNE 15
Silent Library This is basically "truth or dare," except this is MTV so the dare usually involves a pierced body part and the truth is something best discussed with an attorney present. MTV. 6pm.

Pig Bomb Who needs Bigfoot when you have 500-pound wild pigs rummaging around in back of the meth lab? Discovery Channel. 8pm.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 The family hangs out with the guys from Orange County Choppers. Finally the Gosselins are reaching out for the kind of help they need to save the marriage. The Learning Channel. 9pm.

6TEEN These teens are animated, which is more than you could say for our teen years. Cartoon Network. 9pm.

TUESDAY, JUNE 16
CMT Music Awards We're wondering if hard times are good for country music. Really, how many of us are more than a few paychecks away from a trailer and a dog named Skoll? CMTV. 8pm.

90210 They are re-airing the episode where Brenda and Kelly are reunited at the Peach Pit, the historic moment when Shannen Doherty made her famous Ich Bin Ein Has-Been speech. CW. 8pm.

After the Catch After spending the season risking their lives so you can enjoy Red Lobster's Crab-a-Palooza, the crews from The Deadliest Catch finally have time to focus on the important things: alcoholism and strippers. Discovery Channel. 10pm.

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