FRIDAY, JULY 9

Endless Summer II It's just like the first Endless Summer but with shorter boards, different music and more piercings. (1994) Sundance Channel. 6:10pm.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets In the second film, Harry investigates to find out what is turning his wizards-school classmates into stone-like inanimate objects. At most schools, that would be Nintendo. (2002) ABC Family. 7pm.

Wife Swap One of the moms this weeks believes that the world will end in 2012. This is different from the more typical mom who tells her children the world will end "when your dad gets home." ABC. 8pm.


SATURDAY, JULY 10

Hills Marathon You could watch every episode in a row, but your hair will turn blonde and your IQ will drop 40 points. MTV. All weekend.

The Lost Pyramid Or, as we prefer to think of it, "Dude, Where's My Pyramid." History Channel. 8pm.

The Hooters 2010 Swimsuit Competition But you'll have to make your own chicken wings. Spike TV. 9pm.


SUNDAY, JULY 11

Freaks and Geeks The first episode of the acclaimed series that qualifies as the only high school drama that resembles life in an actual high school. IFC. 7pm.

Inside Secret Government Warehouses These are the places where they keep the ark from Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hitler's tube-fed brain, the frozen alien bodies from the Roswell crash and the birth certificate that proves Barack Obama was born on Venus. SyFy. 9pm.

Scoundrels Heather gets a job in a strip club. That means extra money for the family but they have to unfold it first. ABC. 9pm.

Bakery Bunch This couple only has one set of triplets. How did the bar get lowered? Sure, they run a bakery, but the concept only works if they have 12 kids, even better, 13. TLC. 10pm.


MONDAY, JULY 12

The Bachelorette This is the episode where Ali visits the families of the remaining bachelors. It's always awkward meeting a potential mate's family, but a camera crew with a truck and high-powered lighting can really help break the ice. ABC. 8pm.

You're Cut Off! The pampered princesses go camping. It's actually quite heartless. The producers couldn't even find high-thread-count sleeping bags. VH1. 9pm.

Huge A show about life at a fat camp so that kids can sit in front of the TV in the middle of the summer when it's nice outside. ABC Family. 9pm.


TUESDAY, JULY 13

The Secret Life of Elephants It turns out they do sometimes forget. Animal Planet. 8pm.

Wipeout This is a special World Cup-themed episode, which means only 3 percent of American viewers will care who wins. ABC. 8pm.

Cheerleader Nation Follow a real high school cheerleading squad on the road to the national championships capturing the drama as they cope with grueling practice sessions, intense choreography debates and a tearful confrontation between the hairspray and a teasing comb. Lifetime. 9pm.

Colosseum: Rome's Arena of Death What people did before pay-per-view. KQED. 9pm.


WEDNESDAY, JULY 14

Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown Lucy tries to join Charlie's baseball team. We always thought it would be Peppermint Patty who'd be switching to the boy's team. ABC. 8pm.

Family Matters In a time of great need, Urkel returns to calm an anxious nation. Nickelodeon. 8pm.

Criminal Minds Tonight, the murders are at a pharmacy. But the evidence will be ready for pick up at 5pm pending doctor approval. CBS. 9pm.


THURSDAY, JULY 15

Why Did I Get Married? Eight married friends confront issues of infidelity and mistrust. Of course, the answer is "for the awesome gifts!" (2007) TBS. 8pm.

Modern Marvels Examining the modern industry of milk production. It turns out milk doesn't come "from the store." There are cows involved. History Channel. 8pm.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation When a golfer is murdered at a tournament, investigators must not only determine the cause of death and a motive, they also have to recalculate his handicap. CBS. 9pm.


Critique That TV Guy at letters@pacificsun.com.

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