FRIDAY, NOV. 27

Modern Marvels Tracing the history of the telephone and how it changed society since that fateful day when Alexander Graham Bell uttered the historic words, "Watson, did you get my text?" History Channel. 7pm.

Smallville We are willing to accept the stuff about Krypton, and x-ray vision and faster than a speeding bullet, but the Daily Planet actually hiring a new reporter strains credulity. CW. 8pm.

The Jay Leno Show Laura Bush comes out of hiding. NBC. 9pm.

SATURDAY, NOV. 28

Designer Dog A review of fashionable hybrid breeds like the Labradoodle, the puggle and the Chihausund. We're still waiting for somebody to combine a Shih Tzu with a Roomba so it can dust-mop our floor. Animal Planet. 8pm.

War of the Worlds Live Somebody made a musical out of the H.G. Wells classic; it's like A Chorus Line, but with more tentacles. KQED. 10pm.

Dawn of the Dead This is the remake. They still hole up in a mall while the zombies stumble around outside. But it's a totally cooler mall. (2004) MTV. 10pm.

SUNDAY, NOV. 29

America's Funniest Home Videos Former host Bob Saget stops by, part of his "That's How Well My Career Is Going!" tour. ABC. 7pm.

A Town Without Christmas We're intrigued. What's the real estate market like? How are the schools? (2001) Lifetime. 7pm.

The Dog Who Saved Christmas Or, in our house, The Dog Who Tore Apart the Stockings to Get at the Chocolate. (2009) ABC Family. 8pm.

MONDAY, NOV. 30

How the Grinch Stole Christmas We think he worked for Goldman Sachs. ABC. 8pm.

Shrek the Halls An ogre at Christmas? That's why we stopped spiking the eggnog when our brother-in-law visits. ABC. 8:30pm.

Hoarders Every week, they interview a couple of people with a compulsion to fill their houses with worthless goods they will never use. And every week is another week you can't fit your car in the garage. A&E. 10pm.

TUESDAY, DEC. 1

The Biggest Loser The final four contestants run a marathon. We're impressed. This is the longest course any of them had ever run that wasn't a buffet. NBC. 8pm.

A Charlie Brown Christmas The roundheaded kid picks out a lame tree and then everybody pretends it's OK. It's good practice for when your sister shows up for the holidays with her new boyfriend. ABC. 8pm.

Cast Confessions from The Hills to The City There are parts of their lives these people haven't shared? How about "We used cue cards"? MTV. 9pm.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show We heard the secret is diet pills and cigarettes. CBS. 10pm.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 2

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer A mutant reindeer and his effeminate elf friend brave a savage storm to escape an isolated polar compound. CBS. 8pm.

Christmas in Rockefeller Center Alicia Keys, Barry Manilow and Shakira help remind us what the holidays are about on some other planet. NBC. 8pm.

Lost Holiday: The Jim and Suzanne Shemwell Story A husband and wife are trapped in a blizzard at Christmas. This kind of cutting-edge couples therapy may not be available in your area. (2007) Lifetime. 9pm.

The Tonight Show Jenny McCarthy explains that her 1995 expiration date "was just a typo." NBC. 11:35pm.

THURSDAY, DEC. 3

The Polar Express Scores of children are abducted on Christmas Eve and whisked out of state for a ritual involving a charismatic cult leader and his army of diminutive mutants. (2004) ABC Family. 6pm.

Clash of the Choirs Like American Idol, but with bake sales. CMTV. 7pm.

Critique That TV Guy at letters@pacificsun.com.

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